Related:

• Airline tickets have small print on them. It says, "Schedules are subject to change without notice.
  I missed my plane in Houston by fifteen minutes. And believe me, I noticed it. -- Mark Dobrie...
• If I only had one more teragigadactylbyte..
• We only ever had the one sun at home. I came from a planet called Earth you know.
  Arthur. -- The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy...
• Well, that is one of the most well documented, non-working pieces of code I have ever written.
• One year we had a Christmas brunch with Merry Christmas Mush to munch.
  But I don't think you'd care for such. We didn't like to munch mush much. -- Dr Sue...
• Marge: Since I got my present early, I think you should get yours early too!
  Lisa: Bart got a present early? Then I should get a present early!...
• I just had a NOSE JOB!! -- Zippy the Pinhead
• If I only had a 486 . .
• What one word describes the absolute worst blowjob you have ever had? Fantastic!