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• Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• As you will see, I told them, in no uncertain terms, to see Figure one.
  -- Dave "First Strike" Pare...
• hot spot: n. 1. [primarily used by C/UNIX programmers, but spreading] It is received wisdom that in most programs, less than 10% of the code eats 90% of the execution time
  if one were to graph instruction visits versus code addresses, one would typically see a few huge spikes amidst a lot of low-level noise....
• I am a happy nerd in cyberspace, where nobody can see my haircut. -- Dave Barry
• Give me the right word and the right accent and I will move the world.
• If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work.
  The voices told me to clean all the guns today....
• I got tired of listening to the recording on the phone at the movie theater.
  So I bought the album. I got kicked out of a theater the other day for bringing my own food in....
• Bandleader: Welcome to T. G. I. McScratchy's where it's constantly New Year's Eve.
  Here we go again! Three, two, one! Everyone: Happy new year!...
• Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not.
  Love, I am told, is more precious than gold. Love, I have read, is hot....