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• I was taking tickets at the movies when I got a phone call.
  This woman said, "How much is a ticket?" And I said, "Four dollars....
• PUNCH MEN KICK WOMEN CHOP CHILDREN -- Sign in window of karate studio
• Ladies are requested not to have children at the bar. -- sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge
• How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?
  -- Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle), Sign of Fou...
• How do they get the deer to cross right at the sign?
• I said how, and why, young children, were sooner allured by love, than driven by beating, to attain good learning.
  -- ROGER ASCHAM (1515-1568) in The Schoolmaster (1570), preface...
• And can you teach me to how to dance real slow?
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