Related:

• A recently completed study shows that people dwelling in stairs-only apartment buildings (that i
  buildings without elevators) live an average of three years longer than do people who live in buildings with both elevators and stairs....
• I said, beam me up dog breath! There is no life on this planet!
• To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints.
  If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. -- George Foreman, 1990, Quoted in London Time...
• If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra.
  But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women....
• Fry: I must be a robot. Why else would human women refuse to date me?
  Leela: Oh, lots of reasons....
• Homer: Oh, one thing I'm good at and I can't do it any more.
  Marge: Homey, you're good at lots of things. Home...
• I have lots of things in my pockets; None of them is worth anything.
  Sociopolitical whines aside, Gan you give me, gratis, free, The price of half a gallon Of Gallo extra bad And most of the bus fare home....
• Beam me up, Scotty! This planet has no beer!