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• I always wanted to marry someone who was tall, handsome, and rich.
  Three out of three I gave up on." -- Woody Allen, "Radio Day...
• When I mentioned that it seemed to me that the Reverend's followers were being systematically turned into mindless zombies by a fraudulent megalomaniac, it was taken as criticism.
  -- Woody Alle...
• If only Dionysus were alive! Where would he eat? -- Woody Alle
• Exactly what Adam and Eve were ashamed of is never clearly explained, anywhere.
  And why did they cover their loins? Why not their noses or elbows or big toes?...
• Silence when you're shouting at me! -- Woody Allen, What's New, Pussycat?
• I dreamed I met God. He sneezed, and I didn't know what to say to him.
• Don't give up the ship! Give up the captain.
• When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam
  I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. -- Woody Alle...