Related:

• There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: "passive" systems collect the sunlight that hits your home, and "active" systems collect the sunlight that hits your neighbors' homes, too.
  -- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzle...
• You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses.
  Really, that's what scientists believe. In fact many scientists actually use their fireplaces to cool their houses in the summer....
• You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses.
  Really, that's what scientists believe. In fact many scientists actually use their fireplaces to cool their houses in the summer....
• Tagline error. Contact your systems programmer.
• When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year.
  I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer....
• When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year.
  I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer....