Related:

• A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all over the place.
  I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. -- Excerpt from insurance form...
• She said I should think of her like a sister. I said I did, but not my sister.
• Girls now say what they think. I was with one the other night.
  Two in the morning she told me to go to a sex clinic....
• Homer: Where's that waitress of yours? Moe: Oh, she left to pursue a movie career.
  Frankly, I think she was better off here. -- "Flaming Moe'...
• Well I know where she come from but I don't know what's her name.
• Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group.
  Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• MARTA WAS WATCHING THE FOOTBALL GAME with me when she said, "You know most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group.
  "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988....
• She's the one.
• Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh.
  But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me....