Related:

• Free bank with the purchase of any toaster.
• Think of something, if it's really weird somebody probably did it.
• The bank called to tell me that I'm overdrawn, Some freaks are burning crosses out on my front lawn, And I *can't*believe* it, all the Cheetos are gone, It's just ONE OF THOSE DAYS!
  -- Weird Al Yankovic, "One of Those Day...
• I before E except after C. What a weird society!
• This morning I abused my electric toaster. Tonight the elevator held me hostage in revenge.
  -- Woody Alle...
• You shouldn't make my toaster angry. -- Household security explained in Johnny Que
• I never did it that way before.
• Nathan Hale n. An asterisk (see also splat, ASCII).
  Oh, you want an etymology? Notionally, from "I regret that I have only one asterisk for my country!...
• Rimmer: You? How did you get into art college? Liste
  The same way you always get into art college. The same old usual boring normal way everyone gets into art college....