Related:

• My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
  -- W. C. Field...
• Cheese it, cheddar-breath, you can't fight America's Action Hero, see?
  -- Gangster in The Firesign Theatre's production of "The Giant Rat of Summatra...
• A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for. -- W. C. Fields (1880-1946)
• Last week, I went to Philidelphia, but it was closed. -- W. C. Field
• On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. -- W. C. Fields' epitaph
• Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. -- W. C. Field
• Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. -- W. C. Field
• The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -- W. C. Field
• Water? Never touch the stuff! Fish fuck in it. -- W. C. Field