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• The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.
  D. -- Nelson Algren, "Writers at Work...
• Men can suck the heady juice of exalted self-importance from the bitter weed of failure - failures are usually the most conceited of men.
  -- D. H. Lawrence...
• Hey, please don't pick up that ph{{{~|z{|{ {
• Cucumbers can stay up all night, and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot.
  -- Reasons why cucumbers are better than me...
• Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. -- Nelson Algre
• Martin: [raises hand] Mrs. Krabappel, I also have an announcement to make.
  Krabappel: Can't it wait until I retire? Martin: [clears throat and gets up] I want one and all to join me in celebrating the anniversary of my portentous birth....
• Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play cards with a man named Doc.
  And never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you....