Related:

• Ms.M: Bart, what other paradoxes affect our lives? Ba
  [looks around nervously; all stare at him] Well, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't....
• One day you may achieve something that we Simpsons have dreamed about for generations.
  You may outsmart someone. -- Homer Simpson Bart the Geniu...
• Bart: "Sir, did you lose your arm in the war?" Herman (?
  ): "Well, let's just say that the next time your teacher tells you not to stick your arm out the bus window, you DO IT!...
• Now go on, boy, and pay attention. Because if you do, someday, you may achieve something that we Simpsons have dreamed about for generatio
  You may outsmart someone!...
• Marge: Bart, did you trick an Australian boy into accepting a $
  900 collect call? Bart: Yes, 'm. Homer: [looking at globe] Hmm, there it i...
• Bart: What is this place? Nerd 1: The refuge of the damned.
  Martin: [gleeful] A place where we can work on our extra-credit assignments without fear of reprisal....
• Alien: On this cable system, we receive over one million channels from the furthest reaches of the galaxy.
  Bart: Do you get HBO? Alien: No, that would cost extra....
• Gee, Dad. You must really love us to sink *THIS* low.
  -- Bart to Homer in "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire", from The Simpso...
• You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. But that's not *fair*!
  Of course it's not fair. We're *evil*. Look it up....