Related:

• Take me drunk, I'm home again!
• But, officer, he's not drunk, I just saw his fingers twitch!
• M: "Why don't I take you home and give you a thrill?" F: "You can't do both.
• A very drunk man is trying his key on a hole in the lamp post.
  A police officer comes by, notices that the man is terribly drunk and suggests that there is no one home in the lamp post....
• I never take work home with me; I always leave it in some bar along the way.
• Who? Me, Officer?
• Cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home?
• Homer: Oh, who am I kidding? I _am_ slow. Marge: Oh, Homey, if you feel so bad about yourself, there's always things you can do to feel better.
  Homer: Take another bath in malt liquor? Marge: There's that....