Related:

• My best friend at home was a fellow named Sappo. He's my best friend in the world but he's ugly.
  When he was born the doctor slapped his mother. She used to have morning sickness after he was born....
• Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
  He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?...
• Yo momma so slutty she could suck-start a Harley!
• A fella's talking to his priest. He said, "I gave up sex for Lent .
  .. Well, I tried to, but the last day of Lent my wife dropped a can of peaches and when she bent over to pick 'em up, I couldn't help it....
• It's not hard to tell we was poor--when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.
  -- George "Goober" Lindsey...
• Our town was small but we got two things we're very proud of.
  Night and day. If you have a year to live, move there--it'll seem like a lifetime....
• My friend Sappo was real depressed. He said, "I can't get any girls.
  I said, "Don't worry, listen, tomorrow we're going swimming....
• Yo momma head so big she has to step into her shirts.
• Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.