Related:

• The ABCs of Appliance Repair: a) At the first sign of electrical or mechanical trouble, gently wipe the outside of the appliance with a damp cloth.
  This should correct the problem. b) If that doesn't work, don't do anything....
• In brief, she assumed that, being a man, I was vain to the point of imbecility, and this assumption was correct, as it always is.
  -- H. L. Mencke...
• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• When there appears to be more than one possible solution to a problem, the simplest is most likely to be correct.
• Always pick on the correct idiom.
• music n. A common extracurricular interest of hackers (compare science-fiction fandom, oriental food filk).
  Hackish folklore has long claimed that musical and programming abilities are closely related, and there has been at least one large-scale statistical study that supports this....
• music:: n. A common extracurricular interest of hackers (compare {{science-fiction fandom}}, {{oriental food}}
  ee also {filk}). Hackish folklore has long claimed that musical and programming abilities are closely related, and there has been at least one large-scale statistical study that supports this....
• People of all sorts of genders are reporting great difficulty, these days, in selecting the proper words to refer to those of the female persuasion.
  "Lady," "woman," and "girl" are all perfectly good words, but misapplying them can earn one anything from the charge of vulgarity to a good swift smack....
• Lisa: I need help, Mom. There's another girl at school who's smarter, younger, and a better sax player than me.
  Ew, I feel so average. Marge: Well, you'll always be number one to me -- Ba...