Lisa: I Need Help, Mom. There's Another Girl At School Who's Smarter, Younger, And A Better Sax Player Than Me.

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Lisa: I need help, Mom. There's another girl at school who's smarter,
younger, and a better sax player than me. Ew, I feel so average.
Marge: Well, you'll always be number one to me --
Bart: [walking past] Ahem, hello...first born within earshot.
Marge: Mmm, I meant my number-one girl --
[Maggie tugs on Marge's dress]
Oh, for cry -- mmm. Honey, if you get too competitive, you'll
never be happy. No matter how good you are, there's always going
to be someone better than you. {I always thought I had the
tallest hair, but that trip to Graceland really opened my eyes.}
Lisa: But she's better than me at everything that makes me special!
Marge: Oh, believe me honey, she's more scared of you than you are of
Lisa: [sullen] You're thinking of bears, Mom.
-- "Lisa's Rival"