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• I worship the ground that awaits you.
• I vent, therefore I am. -- Dennis Mille
• I bet for an Indian, shooting a old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over, is like the top thing you can do.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• There was a little girl Who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead.
  When she was good, she was very, very good And when she was bad, she was very, very popular....
• She is a woman, therefore may be woo'd; She is a woman, therefore may be wo
  She is Lavinia, therefore must be loved. What, man!...
• Homer: We'd like to dedicate this next number to a very special woman.
  She's a hundred years old, and she weighs over two hundred....
• A woman is like a piano. If she's not upright she's grand.
• Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler.