Related:

• I'm Catholic ... My mother and I were unpacking and she found my diaphragm.
  I had to tell her it was a bathing cap for my cat. -- Lizz Winstead...
• And she had a bath once a year .....whether she needed it or not. -- Mark Twai
• My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. -- Groucho Marx
• My mother loved children---she would have given anything if I had been one.
  -- Groucho Marx, 1890-1977...
• When my freshman roommate at Cornell found out I was Jewish, she was, at her request, moved to a different room.
  She told me she didn't think she had ever seen a Jew before....
• Fitzgerald: The rich are different from us. Hemingway
  Yes, they have more money. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald...
• Mother didn't make it to the hospital. I was born on the bus.
  Mother was furious when she had to open her pocketbook the second time. -- Jack Dougla...