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• Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred.
  By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters....
• Be right & fear no man. Don't write & fear no woman.
• A man's a man who looks a man right between the eyes.
• Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right. -- Woody Allen, "All You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex
• On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
  The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you....
• Sex between 2 people is a beautiful thing ; between 5 it's fantastic ... -- Woody Alle
• Nothing confuses a man like a woman driver who does everything right.
• Alien: I bring you love! Hibbert: [smoking a cigar] Is that the love between a man and a woman or the love of a man for a fine Cuban cigar?
  [chuckles] Alien: Uh... I bring you love! Lenny...
• The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.
  -- Woody Alle...