Rimmer's Father: I Just Wanted To Say... Rimmer: Yes?
Rimmer's Father: I just wanted to say...
Rimmer's Father: I just wanted to say...you're a total smeghead!
Rimmer: What?! That isn't my fantasy!
Cat: No, it's mine.
-- Red Dwarf 'Better than life'
Rimmer: The lamb was a bit of a flop, though. Liste
The lamb? Everyone thought the lamb was the cheese!...
Cat: My stomach has been pumped and now I'm hungry!
Man, I just /have/ to eat! Lister: Rimmer's dad has died....
But, I just want to say, over the years, I have come to regard you as.
..people I met. -- Rimmer, making his goodbyes in Red Dwarf 'Holoship'...
Lister: We used to be your shipmates. Rimmer: Only .
.. we've forgotten you. Lister: Yeah. Rimmer: [to Cat] Well, I don't know about you, but I'm convinced....
Lister: You see I try sir. I'm not an insubordinate man by nature.
I try and respect Rimmer, but it's not easy because he's such a smeghead....
Holly: We are talking Jape of the Decade. We are talking April, May, June, July, and August, fool.
Yes, that's right -- I am Queeg. Rimmer, Lister, Cat: WHAT?!!!!!! -- Red Dwarf - 'Queeg'...
Rimmer: What about the Rimmer Directive, which states, Never tangle with anything that's got with more teeth than the entire Osmond family?
-- Red Dwarf - 'Polymorph'...
Cat: What is it? Rimmer: It's a rent in the space-time continuum.
Cat: What is it? Lister: The stasis room freezes time, you know, makes time stand still....
Oh and sir, you're wrong. We won't be apart. We just won't be together.
I cannot believe I just said that. -- Rimmer, talking about Nirvana in Red Dwarf 'Holoship'...