Related:

• Real software engineers work from 9 to 5, because that is the way the job is described in the formal spec.
  Working late would feel like using an undocumented external procedure....
• Real software engineers don't write in ADA, because the standards bodies have not quite decided on a formal spec yet.
• Real software engineers write in languages that have not actually been implemented for any machine, and for which only the formal spec (in BNF) is available.
  This keeps them from having to take any machine dependencies into account....
• Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If any Real Programmers are around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night.
• Real software engineers like C's structured constructs, but they are suspicious of it because they have heard that it lets you get "close to the machine.
• That would be because the software doesn't work.
• Real computer scientists work from 5 pm to 9 am because that's the only time they can get the 8 megabytes of main memory they need to edit specs.
  (Real work starts around 2 am when enough MIPS are free for their dynamic systems....
• Real software engineers don't like the idea of some inexplicable and greasy hardware several aisles away that may stop working at any moment.
  They have a great distrust of hardware people, and wish that systems could be virtual at *___all* levels....