Related:

• Hand me that piano. -- Things you never hear people say
• Hello, friend! You say things aren't going too well?
  You say you have a date with your favorite girl when it starts raining so hard you can't see?...
• I was walking down Madison Avenue and I saw a very good-looking tie in a shop window.
  So I went in. Before I could say anything the manager said, "Oh, Tony Randall!...
• People are never so ready to believe you as when you say things in dispraise of yourself
  and you are never so much annoyed as when they take you at your word....
• Now it's time to say goodbye. Please get off my property until next year.
  I suggest you don't dawdle, the hounds will be released in ten minutes....
• Please, cut off my arm.
• Never saw off the branch you are on, unless you are being hanged from it. -- Stanislaw Lec
• Patty: Homer, um...I'm speechless. You just saved our hides.
  Homer: Please, on top of everything else, don't make me picture your hides!...
• You see things; and say 'Why?' But I dream things that never were and say 'Why not?
  ' -- George Bernard Shaw...