Related:

• People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?" -- Emo Phillip
• The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?
  I said, "I don't know. You can't see out the other way." -- Emo Phillip...
• I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body.
  Then I realized who was telling me this. -- Emo Phillip...
• I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body.
  Then I realized who was telling me this." -- Emo Phillip...
• I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed.
  So I said, "Get off me, you two!" -- Emo Phillip...
• A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it.
  -- Emo Phillip...
• I went into Gus's artificial organ and taco stand. I said "Give me a bladder por favor.
  The guy said "Is that to go?" I said, "Well what else would I want it for?" -- Emo Phillip...
• I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming.
  ..They don't know I'm only using blanks. -- Emo Phillip...