Related:

• PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp.
  It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with....
• INEXPEDIENT, adj. Not calculated to advance one's interests.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PRELATE, n. A church officer having a superior degree of holiness and a fat preferment.
  One of Heaven's aristocracy. A gentleman of God. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
  The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HEBREW, n. A male Jew, as distinguished from the Shebrew, an altogether superior creation.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary