Related:

• PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp.
  It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with....
• READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.
  We know by one's reading His learning and breeding...
• ALDERMAN, n. An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it.
  In the United States Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House...
• HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Hand, n.: A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing.
  These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling....
• MOUSQUETAIRE, n. A long glove covering a part of the arm.
  Worn in New Jersey. But "mousquetaire" is a might poor way to spell muskeeter....