Related:

• HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Hand, n.: A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal.
  It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long....
• ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Kilt, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• AFRICAN, n. A nigger that votes our way. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• AIR, n. A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• DISTANCE, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs, and keep.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...