Related:

• Ask yourself why the New York subway system, alone among the mass transit systems of the world, has maps inside rather than outside the trains.
  It's to force you to get on the wrong train in order to find out where you're going ....
• I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy.
  I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me....
• I'm sure that VMS is completely documented, I just haven't found the right manual yet.
  I've been working my way through the manuals in the document library and I'm half way through the second cabnet, (3 shelves to go), so I should find what I'm looking for by mid May....
• Speaking in public is like making love in public. Any fool can start something like this, but it takes a real effort to find a way to end it after it is once started.
• Real computer scientists work from 5 pm to 9 am because that's the only time they can get the 8 megabytes of main memory they need to edit specs.
  (Real work starts around 2 am when enough MIPS are free for their dynamic systems....
• All you have to do to see the accuracy of my thesis is look around you.
  Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making average incomes for doing average jobs - bank vice presidents, insurance salesmen, auditors, secretaries of defense - and you'll realize they all dress the same way, essentially the way the mannequins in the Sears menswear department dress....
• I love New York City. I just got into town and I wanted to get on the subway.
  I asked a man, "I'd like to get on the subway. How do I get underground?...
• what's the point of ... new technology if you can't find some way to pervert it?
  -- G. A. Effinger, Marid Changes His Mind, IASFM, 1/90...
• Why did the `Real Man' sit in the dark? He couldn't find a new light bulb and was too embrassed to ask.