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• No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast.
  -- W.S. Gilbe...
• You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
  -- W.S. Gilbe...
• Silverman draws a standard dog] Myers: No, no, no!
  He was supposed to have _attitude_. Silverman: Um....
• I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me, And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
  He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head...
• When he is best, he is a little worse than a man; and when he is worst, he is little better than a beast.
  -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), The Merchant of Venice -- Act i, Sc. 2...
• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• The old man had lived all his life in a little house on the Vermont side of the New Hampshire-Vermont border.
  One day, the surveyors came to inform him that they had just discovered that he lived in New Hampshire, not Vermont....
• I have a dirty mind, I mud wrestle with my conscience.
• A rabbi and a priest are sitting together on a train, and the rabbi leans over and asks, "So, how high can you advance in your organization?
  The priest replies, "Well, if I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop....