Related:

• The Pledge of Allegiance says 'liberty and justice for all'.
  Which part of 'all' don't you understand? -- Rep. Pat Schroeder (D) Colo....
• A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket.
  How old's your kid?" the conductor says, and the father says "He's four years old....
• Nobody ever puts up a sign that says NICE DOG.
• How come nobody ever tampers with Spam?
• Ever notice how a dog likes to bark at a drunk? And vice versa? -- Pat Buttram
• Nobody says, "Can I have your beets?" -- Bill Cosby
• New York is a funny town. You can drown in whiskey and starve to death.
  Everybody says have a drink--nobody says have something to eat. -- Nipsey Russell...
• Nobody ever gives up their seat for you.
• Nobody can give you freedom.