Related:

• SCHEMA What you call a diagram when it gets too complicated and impressive to be called a diagram.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• We would like to appeal to all parents who own ferocious dogs - please think before leaving the dog near the baby.
  Wouldn't it be better to leave the baby outside the house?...
• TAPE, MAGNETIC A form of storage, tape was especially developed to make it easy to record and re-record valuable images, sounds or data, onto it.
  The tape can then be played back at will, before suddenly getting caught in the heads of your tape deck one day and consequently losing all the valuable images, sounds and/or data....
• REFERENCE The academic way of copying what someone else has written.
  The best references don't actually exist. Which means they can say precisely what you want them to say....
• QUEUE Something that supermarket supervisors obviously have no idea how to manage.
  It's tempting when you're waiting to grab a PA microphone and shout "Yes, shoppers, don't leave yet, 'cos we've got mega bargains now!...
• When you are out of quality you are out of business.
• KEYBOARD Object which takes the brunt of your frustration with a computer.
  This is, oddly, even the case when the physical computer that is sticking its virtual tongue out at you, is many kilometres, or even timezones, away....
• SCEPTIC TANK A new type of plumbing device. Once you flush, it looks at the situation and says "gee, I dunno guv, I'm not sure I can get that big turd down the S bend.
  Just that little too big, know what I mean? Looks very dodgy to me....
• Q The letter with the least number of amusing words in the alphabet.
  (So far). Generally found just before the letter U, entries for which will appear in several weeks....