Related:

• I never know what to get my father for his birthday.
  I gave him a hundred dollars and said, "Buy yourself something that will make your life easier....
• Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
  -- Rita Rudne...
• My Playtex living bra died--of starvation! I've turned many a head in my day, and a few stomachs.
  I never made Who's Who but I'm featured in What's That!...
• I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. -- Rita Rudne
• My parents want me to get married. They don't care who anymore, as long as he doesn't have a pierced ear, that's all they care about.
  I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage....
• If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you.
  I want to have children ..."--they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudne...
• Cats are a waste of fur. -- Rita Rudne
• Reminds me of some game I used to play . . .
• Ross: Anyway. That's when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again.
  Monica: Y'know what, I think we should play a game....