Related:

• I owed my friend George $25. For about three weeks I owed it to him.
  The whole time I had the money on me---he didn't know it....
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• The price of Christmas toys is outrageous--a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters.
  I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid....
• My friend and his wife stayed in a hotel and got a bill for ninety dollars.
  He screamed, "For what, ninety dollars?" The desk clerk said, "For room and board, sir....
• My uncle staggered in the other night, loaded. His wife said, "Where have you been?
  He said, "I bought something for the house." She said, "What did you buy for the house?...
• You should never challenge "worse." Don't ever say, "Things couldn't get worse.
  Worse is rough ... I was down to my last two hundred dollars....
• You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than sue
  Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak -- Pray, how did you manage to do it?...
• My parents want me to get married. They don't care who anymore, as long as he doesn't have a pierced ear, that's all they care about.
  I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage....
• Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
  -- Rita Rudne...