Related:

• Eighty percent of success is showing up. -- Woody Alle
• I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year. . . for cheating on my metaphysics final.
  You know, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me....
• I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. -- Woody Alle
• I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers -- they're going to make a game out of it.
  -- Woody Alle...
• When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. -- Woody Alle
• I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam
  I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. -- Woody Alle...
• This morning I abused my electric toaster. Tonight the elevator held me hostage in revenge.
  -- Woody Alle...
• When I was born, my family was so poor my mother couldn't afford to use talcum powder on me.
  So she used to douse me with kitchen baking soda ....
• My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
  -- Woody Allen [on Epistemology]...