Related:

• Permit me to introduce myself. My name's Dracula, Lord of the Undead.
  God, I do love the way that sounds. -- "Dinosaurs For Hire...
• Besides, my teeth aren't what they used to be. I have some weird degenerate gum disease.
  It turns out even the Undead have to floss....
• Hi! My name is Dick and I am a vaginaholic.
• Self-deprecation is my middle name, but I am not very good at it.
• If I don't know your name, how am I supposed to tell my diary about you?
• I'm not a vampire. I just eat like one.
• I Love My Sysop.
• Garlic? Mama mia! Have you got the wrong vampire!
• I am Barney of Borg. I love you, and you love me...