My kid said, "I want a dog." Well, I went to the kennel.

My kid said, "I want a dog." Well, I went to the kennel. The first dog I
saw had legs four inches long in front, two feet long in back. I said,
"That's a strange-looking dog." The salesman says, "That's true, but he's
the fastest animal in the world going downhill." I got something more
normal. A Chihuahua. They're good. If you lose one, just empty out your
purse.
-- Jean Carroll