Related:

• My kid said, "I want a dog." Well, I went to the kennel.
  The first dog I saw had legs four inches long in front, two feet long in back....
• Some people who boast about how broadminded they are may just be too lazy to find out which side they're on.
• Martin: [to his flipping dog] Oh boy, Flipsy! You and I are going on a road trip.
  [Nelson grabs Martin and tosses Flipsy out the window] [Flipsy gets run over by a car] Nelso...
• It's always darkest just before the lights go out. -- Alex Clark
• Just for a change, I woke my DOG from a sound sleep to go for a walk.
• If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your ac
  I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, "Forgive me, but that's just too much....
• I was walking down Madison Avenue and I saw a very good-looking tie in a shop window.
  So I went in. Before I could say anything the manager said, "Oh, Tony Randall!...
• A guy walks into a pub and asks: "Does anyone here own a Doberman?
  I feel really bad about this, but my Chihuahua just killed it....