Related:

• My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -- Emo Philip
• My girlfriend got crabs so I bought her fishnet stockings.
• My girlfriend said I never listen to her, or something.
• My girlfriend wanted to see the world, so I bought her an atlas.
• My girlfriend and I sure had a good time at the beach last summer.
  First she'd bury me in the sand, then I'd bury her....
• I hope this scum has not...inconweenienced you. It takes more than a maniac trying to cut off my goolies to inconweenience _me_.
  .. -- Ludwig and Edmund : Chai...
• If my girlfriend caught me on this board.
• Please, cut off my arm.
• Bart: There. If I can just get through this many days without seeing her she should be completely out of my system.
  OK: day one. [circles it] Marge: Time for church, Bart!...