Related:

• I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• Morton Downey...ever since he was eight years old, his parents pleaded with him to run away from home.
• My neighbor has a circular driveway ... he can't get out. -- Steven Wrigh
• I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• A little woman fell in love with a man 90 years old--until she made a date with him.
  She goes out with him that night, and a friend says the next morning, "How did you like him?...
• My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• Last night, I came home and realized that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate.
  I told this to my friend -- he said, `Do I know you?'" -- Steven Wrigh...
• Here are my categories, with examples (his): -- Steven Wrigh
• I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old.
  At least, that's what he told us in the letter. -- Drew Carey...