Related:

• Did you hear about the guy who was so well endowed that he had a fiveskin.
• Bart: [inscribing a card] "To me bestest bud, Milhouse.
  Happy Birthday. Bart." Lisa: Bart, that's so sweet....
• You may be redneck... if you eat a McDonald's cheeseburger in one bite.
• May the wolves never eat you because you're so tough and stringy.
• May you be twins, so that all your pains, troubles, and worries are double.
• May your SO always know when you need a hug.
• You may forget the one with whom you have laughed, but never the one with whom you have wept.
  -- Kahlil Gibra...
• You may be redneck... if you tape pro-wrestling so you can watch later.
• In Anthony Burgess' The End of the World News, one of the characters recites the following
  I loved you. And love for you has not yet burned out of my soul....