Related:

• BORN LOSER -- a guy who has a wet dream and then wakes up to find he's contracted V.D.
• LOSER -- as a guy who computer-dating service sends him the number of Dial-A-Prayer.
• A liberal is a conservative who's been arrested. A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.
• THREE TIME LOSER -- a guy who pays $200 for a piece of ass and ends up with a donkey, which turns out to be a make, with hemorrhoids.
• Beverly: "Worf, the big guy who never smiles. The *Klingon*!
  Will Riker, your first officer! He's...he's very good at poker!...
• It's hard to say who brags more, the reformed smoker or the guy whose car gets 30 miles to the gallon.
  -- James Alexande...
• Some play for gain; to pass time others play For nothing
  both play the fool I say: Nor time nor coin I'll lose, or idly spend...
• Nightmare: A bard who plays the accordian.
• Who cares how it plays in Peoria?