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• Love is when you look into your lover's eyes and see God smiling back at you. -- Solomon Sho
• If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, then call them up when you're drunk.
• When was the last time you were drunk?
• Guru Saj: You must be Ross. Ross: Hi. Guru Saj: I am Guru Saj.
  (takes the drawer back and replaces) Ross: Listen, I got to tell you I_ve-I_ve never been to a guru before, so....
• Marge: Lisa, your father and I are very concerned about this warning.
  I really hope you try harder. Homer: Whew!...
• When does summertime come to Minnesota, you ask? Well, last year, I think it was a Tuesday.