Related:

• When was the last time you were sober?
• When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your Bicycle.
  -- Reasons why a bicycle is better than a woman number 29...
• Hmmm, When is the last time the Tooth Fairy visited you?
• You are not drunk if you lie under the table. When you no longer order from there, then you are drunk.
• College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?
  -- David Wood...
• Look back at the last year. You've done well, haven't you?
  Celebrate by getting drunk and consummating your self-love....
• Love and marriage may go together like a horse and carriage, but when was the last time you saw one of those?
• When your conscious becomes unconscious, you are drunk.
  When your unconscious becomes conscious, you are stoned....