Related:

• Psychiatry is quite similar to prostitution, only less honest.
  They both promise to make people feel better, but the prostitute doesn't make pretensions that the feelings will last once the client walks out the door....
• Honest! It's only a cold sore!
• I have six locks on my door, all in a row, and when I go out I only lock every other one.
  'Cause I figure no matter how long somebody stands there, picks the locks, they're always locking three....
• This is where the bloodthirsty license agreement is supposed to go
  explaining that Interactive Easyflow is a copyrighted package licensed for use by a single person, and sternly warning you not to pirate copies of it and explaining, in detail, the gory consequences if you do....
• There never was a devil who didn't advise people to keep out of Hell.
• Actors are the only honest hypocrites. -- Hazli
• In any group of five people, one will be confused, one will be conniving, one will be honest, and two will be trying like hell to figure out where they fit in this group.
• If the cats could figure out how to work the can opener, they would have the locks changed while we were out.
• Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes. -- Edgard Varese