If The Cats Could Figure Out How To Work The Can Opener, They Would Have The Locks Changed While We Were Out.

Related:

• Phoebe Sr.: So I guess you'd like to know how it all happened.
  Phoebe: I-I mean I, well I think I can figure it out....
• I have six locks on my door, all in a row, and when I go out I only lock every other one.
  'Cause I figure no matter how long somebody stands there, picks the locks, they're always locking three....
• We can see now that we Americans were caught unprepared, because we were ordinary human beings, following the best advice we had at the time.
  No one would have guessed in 1941 that we would be attacked in such an unsportsmanlike manner as we were....
• I figure that the best way to figure what the IRS will figure is to get them to figure what you are figuring that they will figure that you are not really figuring what you want them to figure that you figure.
  If you figure all of this out sufficiently, you have got to figure that they can't figure you out in the first place....
• If evolution were a fact then cats would use can openers.
• As you know, birds do not have sexual organs because they would interfere with flight.
  [In fact, this was the big breakthrough for the Wright Brothers....
• Could we have avoided the tragedy of Hiroshima? Could we have started the atomic age with clean hands?
  No one knows. No one can find out. -- Edward Telle...