Related:

• Life is just a bowl of cherries, but why do I always get the pits?
• Bill Clinton: The Rodney Dangerfield of presidents.
• My sex life is very bad. If it wasn't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.
  -- Rodney Dangerfield...
• Life is just a bowl of toenails.
• Life is just a bowl of chili, but no beans for you.
• You may already be a loser. -- Form letter received by Rodney Dangerfield.
• When I was growing up my mother kept telling me we're just friends.
  I tell ya I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my Dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought....
• It's a good thing you're wearing a mustache. It breaks up the monotony of your face.
  -- Rodney Dangerfield...