Related:

• I'm such an *asshole*! I know how you feel, Chris... And you're right.
• Apu: Snap on your bulletproof vest, Sanjay, it's time for another bank run.
  Sanjay: All right. But if I don't make it, promise you won't sleep with my wife....
• By definition, every word I say is a promise. -- Marlon Brando in The Freshma
• If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
• Marge: Homer, we're on a tight budget, here. Promise me you won't get carried away.
  Homer: Yes, money. ... I mean, honey. -- Homer catches lottery fever, "Dog of Death...
• Take out the word 'Quayle' and insert the word 'Bush' wherever it appears, and that's the crap I took for eight years.
  Wimp. Sycophant. Lap dog. Poop. Lightweight. Boob....
• If I wanted to listen to an ASSHOLE, I would've farted!
• Awards are like hemorrhoids; in the end, every asshole gets one. -- Frederic Raphael
• I promise results, not promises.