Related:

• Reality is when it happens to you.
• Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train.
  Are you going sixty miles an hour, or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you are just sitting still?...
• Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.
  It's not. -- Dr. Seuss, The Lorax...
• When everyone *is* out to get you, being paranoid isn't going to help.
• When the going gets tough, find someone to blame.
• Homer: _That's_ what ballet is? [whining] Oh -- Marge
  You promised! You can't back out like when you volunteered for that Army experiment to avoid dinner at my sisters'....
• When things are going well, something will go wrong.
  -- Chisholm's Second Law 1. When things just can't get any worse, they will....
• College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?
  -- David Wood...
• The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat.
  And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?...