Related:

• God told me it's none of your business. -- Jimmy Swagga
• When one told Plistarchus that a notorious railer spoke well of him, "I 'll lay my life," said he, "somebody hath told him I am dead, for he can speak well of no man living.
  -- Plutarch (46-120 AD) -- Of Plistarchu...
• The gym teacher's name was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso did not speak English.
  He spoke "Gym." One day I was playing basketball and Mr....
• Carl: Hey, Homer, are you sure it's OK to smoke Cuban cigars and gamble here now that your wife's a cop?
  Homer: Are you kidding? Being a cop husband is one mighty sweet deal!...
• What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God".
  "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God....
• What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God.
  "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears....
• Phoebe: Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know
  I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too....
• Homer: You're my last, last chance: bottom-of-the-barrel, hail-mary, long-shot, wish-you-would-do-it-but-probably-won't final resort to lend me money.
  Selma: We'll take care of you. Patty: Yes, care. [they laugh evilly] [Homer starts laughing too...
• Jimmy Swaggart is haunted by the omnivorous fear that someone, somewhere, is able to be happy without sending him money.