Related:

• I will not drink! But if I do... I will not get drunk!
  But if I do... I will not in public! But if I do.....
• I don't have a drinking problem. I drink I get drunk I fall down No problem
• No, I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!
• As a rule I don't drink--as a habit I do!
• I'm wobbling and I can't fall down! -- Weeble
• I seen you do the dog, I seen you gettin down.
• Why do I drink? I drink so I can write poetry. -- James Douglas Morriso
• You drink at a bar in the daytime, people call you a drunkard.
  You drink at the golf course, you're a sportsman!...