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• I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading.
  So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading.
  So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. -- Steven Wrigh...
• They say the atmosphere there was so full of goodness that evil just shriveled up and died.
  Maybe that's why I never went there. -- Doctor, Keeper of Trake...
• I went to the doctor. I said, "Doc, my foot! I can't walk!
  He said, "You'll be walking before the day is over." He took my car. -- Buddy Hacke...
• I went to the doctor last week. He told me to take all my clothes off.
  Then he said, "You'll have to diet." I said, "What color?" -- Ken Dodd...
• Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
  "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the unbelieving dean....
• A woman went into a hospital one day to give birth.
  Afterwards, the doctor came to her and said, "I have some....
• The patient went to his doctor for a checkup, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his usual illegible writing.
  The patient put it in his pocket, but he forgot to have it filled....
• I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
  Well, just last week I was at a Chinese restaurant and when I opened my fortune cookie I found the guy's check sitting at the next table....