Related:

• Casey came home from seeing the doctor looking very worried.
  His wife said, "What's the problem?" He said, "The doctor told me I have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life....
• Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
  "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the unbelieving dean....
• Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record.
  I said, no, but I have the new DEVO album. Cops have no sense of humor....
• Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record.
  I said, no, but I have the new DEVO album. Cops have no sense of humor....
• I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
  Well, just last week I was at a Chinese restaurant and when I opened my fortune cookie I found the guy's check sitting at the next table....
• I went to the doctor. I said, "Doc, my foot! I can't walk!
  He said, "You'll be walking before the day is over." He took my car. -- Buddy Hacke...
• I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning.
  A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me...